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    Farrah Abraham Tries, Fails to Break Internet with Topless Booty Massage



    Earlier this month, Jordyn Woods accidentally broke the internet with a very brief video.


    Naturally, being a desperate glutton for attention, Farrah Abraham had to copy her. Or, at least, try to.


    “Best butt & tummy your ever going to have ladies!” Farrah Abraham announced on Instagram.


    She added to her caption: “@lejoliespa Vacuodermie and Pressotherapy.”


    Accompanying these words was a “lymphatic drainage” tag and a short video that we have included in this post.

    Farrah Abraham lymphatic massage 01 of 03


    Within the video itself, Farrah is topless and appears to be wearing only a simple thong.


    She then receives a blend of vigorous massage along her thighs and buttocks along with some dermal treatments.


    She even posted the “before and after” results, showing one side of her body vs the other.

    Farrah Abraham lymphatic massage before vs after


    We’re not sure what this is intended to prove.


    Either she mislabeled the halves, or she looked way, way better beforehand.


    But clearly, this is one of those treatments where long-term benefits are supposed to outweigh the short-term looks.

    Farrah Abraham lymphatic massage 02 of 03


    So what was the point of all of this?


    Lymphatic drainage is a little controversial and, some fear, becoming a bit of a fad.


    There are genuine benefits … but some talk up the process to more than it actually is.

    Farrah Abraham lymphatic massage 03 of 03


    According to genuine studies, lymphatic drainage massages can accelerate the lymphatic system.


    They can reduce post-surgical swelling and even reduce thigh circumference, cellulite, and fat in some women.


    It is not some sort of miracle cure for overall wellness — or, if it is, that has yet to be proven by any credible scientific study.

    Jordyn Woods massage photo


    We cannot help but recall that, just weeks ago, Jordyn Woods was seen in a short clip receiving just such a drainage massage.


    In the short video, the way that the massage caused her (natural) booty to ripple was eye-catching or even mesmerizing to some of those who saw it.


    This looks like just another desperate attempt by Farrah to draw attention to herself. Hey, at least this time it’s not by filming herself being racist!


    Naturally, people seeing Farrah’s transparent bid for attention in any more couldn’t keep it to themselves.


    They swarmed the comments, in many cases pointing out that Farrah will do anything for attention, be it positive or negative or whatever this video is.


    One deeply weird person predicted: “This is our children’s future with social media.”

    Farrah Abraham IG defends lymphatic massage video


    In true word salad form, Farrah retorted: “No, this is a woman sharing health & wellness & seems to be people really need it for a healthier life.”


    As we explained earlier, if people just generally need lymphatic drainage massages for a healthier life, that has yet to be conclusively proven.


    But Farrah doesn’t seem to be being honest about her motives here.


    Obviously, taking off her clothes on camera doesn’t make her a bad mom. It is so many other things about Farrah that make her a bad mom and bad person.


    But there is something to be said for the way that Farrah so often shows skin, not for comfort or to tease fans, but to deliberately provoke a negative reaction.


    It often seems like she is using feminism as a shield even when she does not hold true feminist values — she doesn’t want gender equality or justice, she just wants people to talk about her.

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